Working with children
Last updated:The voice of the child is the active involvement of children and young people. It is more than practitioners simply seeking their views. It is about:
- asking about their life
- asking about their daily lived experience
- including them in decision-making about the support they can get
There are lots of ways to help a child talk about what parental conflict is like for them and what they would like to change. It can be helpful to use tools where they can draw, write freely or be creative. This can be more effective than direct conversation. Social Worker Toolbox has a range of tools including Three Houses, Life Paths or Faces.
Practitioners should be aware of local services and options for children. This is so you can explain ‘what happens next’. Take accurate notes so the children don’t have to repeat themselves. Ensure you are writing ‘word for word’ what the child or young person is telling you in their own voice.
Practitioners should ask questions to gain a clear understanding of ‘what is happening’ for the young person, rather than ‘what is wrong’.
Open or move conversations on empathetically with comments like:
- ‘I can hear that..’
- ‘It can be hard….’
- ‘I wonder…’
- ‘You sound….’
‘Empathy is your ace card’, (Family Links). Remember the importance of empathy, trying to understand, and showing that you understand the feelings behind the behaviour. It can be helpful to focus on the feelings before trying to focus on the behaviour, question or advice.
Sharing the child’s voice with parents impacts parental behaviour. Parents in conflict may be hearing it for the first time. This can be a compelling, pivotal moment and kickstart the change cycle.
Resources
The “My Family’s Changing Activity” booklets are a great resource for professionals created by CAFCASS. They aim to support children/teenagers as they navigate the challenges of their parents’ divorce. These interactive activity books:
- offer colourful and engaging exercises
- addresses basic questions that children/teenagers may have about the divorce process
The activity booklets provide age-appropriate information in a relatable format. They educate and assist children/teenagers in understanding and coping with the difficult circumstances surrounding their parents’ divorce. It is a valuable tool to help children/teenagers:
- express their emotions
- process their thoughts
- find comfort during this significant life transition.
There are 2 versions available to download. One for primary-aged children and the other for secondary school-aged children.