Parents of children with additional needs

Parents who have a child with additional needs face added pressure in a range of aspects of their lives. This can have an impact on:

• finances
• quality time
• mental or emotional health

Parents can sometimes feel isolated from their friends, family, and their community.  It is difficult to adjust to new roles and parents may have different expectations.

A report written by Relate found the following about parents of a child with additional needs:

• They are more likely to experience lower relationship quality.
• Over a third of parents were in distressed relationships.
• They are more likely to be in distressed relationships. 34% of parents are in distressed relationships compared to 26% of parents of children without additional needs

Recognising conflict, the impact on their children and accessing support may be a low priority for families. They may be on waiting lists for assessments, identification of needs or educational support. Practitioners should use interventions that support communication. This is to help parents in destructive conflict recognise their own emotional needs. This can help them to parent together prioritising their child’s needs.

Tips for supporting parents

Below are some practical tips for supporting parents of children with additional needs. They are designed to help facilitate conversations.

1. There are different types of special needs. Do you have a set of inclusive terms that you can use with parents to discuss their children’s specific needs?
2. Different parents might use different expressions. For example, ‘needs’ or ‘disability’. They might have different understandings of what these terms mean.
3. Do you have conversations with parents about their language preferences? And if appropriate, the meanings behind them?
   • Some parents may understand disability as being caused by how society is organised, rather than by a person’s impairment or difference. Therefore they may prefer to use language which aligns with this view.
4. Do you have strategies to use to de-escalate situations if parents become frustrated or angry?

The Buckinghamshire Local Offer for SEND has lots of information. It can be a really good place to signpost parents/carers for further information and support.

The SEN Support Toolkit provides practical information, advice and tools to implement SEN support within a school setting. It's split into 4 sections covering the following 4 areas of need:

1. SEN support good practice
2. Supporting presenting needs
3. Working with families
4. Supporting change